How a Query can actually manage not to be the epitome of evil

Yes, it's hard to believe. Queries, for those who don't know, are a small paragraph of no more than 250-300 words, in which you try to tell someone what happens in your story, why it's cool, and how totally awesome you are as a writer.

Unfortunately, you can't just come out and say this (Imagine that - I am a good writer, and this is the best most fantastical book ever). No, instead you have to show them that by weaving a compelling and individual narrative (ie, you can't have just a premise - you have to show what happens in your book, what the stakes are for your character, and give some hint of what they do).

There should be conflict, tension, character, plot, good writing... in about 250 words. Thus, queries have a reputation for being evil. Their primary purpose is to sell your book, or net it some representation from an agent.

But for me, at least, queries have quite a nifty little second use, which is not quite as evil as the first one.

Okay, you've got 250 words. In that sort of space, you can't muck about. A query forces you to get to the very essence of what your story, characters, themes and ideas are about. That's what makes it so bloody hard - most of us don't try and think that way to start off with. Whether you're a planner or a discovery writer, most people will think out their plot, characters and story, but they won't think about the essence of all those things. And most people don't know what the essence of their story is. Well, they have a generic idea. For example, my story The Manda was about shades of grey in people and civilisations - the idea that no-one is right; that there is only perspective, and while a person can be kind in one instance, they can be downright horrible in the next.

But that has been done before. It's a very broad idea of what my story is about. In a query, you need to be specific - you have to figure out the essence of your story, characters, plot ect, and then you have to figure out what makes it individual, fun, terrifying, brilliant.

This takes forever, or at least it does for me. I spent hours on my last query - it didn't take too long to figure what my themes were about, but to par my characters, plot and structure down into short succinct ideas, and then combine those ideas to make a compelling narrative - took about two weeks, working at it for something like five hours a day. This doesn't sound too long. Then you realise that this is only 250 words I'm talking about. I wrote, and rewrote, and agonised, and cut, and scrapped, and started from scratch, and cursed and got second opinion and third opinions and went through at least 100 drafts of 250 words.

So. Whatever way you look at it, creating a query is evil. But once you have one, they can be gold in so many ways. Once you've had to write a query, you know what you want your book to be about - you know it's essence, not just the big things that make it go. And in my honest opinion, once you know the essence of a book, you can fix anything that's wrong with the plot, story, characters or structure. That fixing may take a entire rethink. (That circumstantially is what I'm doing with The Manda). or you may find your query closer to what you wanted than you thought it would be. Either way, once you nail a query, you've nailed your stories soul.

Then there's just the problem of communicating that to a reader, which is a whole different kettle of fish. That's where the perception gap between what a writer wants to say, and what a reader actually receives from you words, comes up.

But with a query, at least you have a start.

So my suggestion: write your story. Either planning or not planning, however you will. Then agonise over your query. Then, once you've got your query, and know it off by heart, (you will to - believe me, you can't create a query and not be able to quote it in your sleep by the time you've done) look again at your story. Take a good long look. Try and put yourself in the place of the reader, and see how big that perception gap is. If it's huge, make it smaller, until you can't notice one. Then, depending on what type of person you are, send it to a beta reader, or to a publisher. You'll either get a rejection, telling you that that gap is still there, or a report back from your beta reader, telling you that that gap is still there. Read the query again. And again. Think about the soul of your piece, and shorten that gap.

It's worth it. That "ah-ha!" moment you get on figuring out what's wrong is like drinking a redbull + espresso + no-doze shot. That sort of zing is worth being given a Medicare number for financial re-reimbursement.

(Oh, and this is written to hype myself up before I start query writing for my steam punk novel. There is a hidden motive here - if I remind myself of the benefits, I may actually look forwards to putting myself through the hell of writing a query. I'm also going to revise the Manda - this is to hype myself up for that too.)

Anyway, regardless of your motive in writing a query, know that they are evil to create. But bloody useful thereafter.

Enjoy creating~

Sian

Brainstorming and Ideas

I have decided to take part in NaNoWriMo. For those who don't know what it is, it's a... competition of sorts. You sign up to it on the website, and the challenge is to write 50,000 words in a month. If you manage to do that, you "win". You also get to see the word counts of your friends and your region, so it adds a competitive edge to writing a novel. For me, competitive edge = motivation.

This is also useful, as it has recently dawned on me that I will be very busy next year. We're talking a lot of study, to the extent where I'm dreaming about chemistry and anatomy in my sleep. But I still wish to have a balanced life, so I came to the conclusion that I want to do several things around my course: earn money in order to live, study languages ( at least Japanese) and some form of exercise and writing.

That's a lot of stuff to fit around a long week. But it has recently come to my awareness that I revise better than I write. It's easier for me, it doesn't take as much time up, and you can work on it in spurts and drabs. Writing, on the other hand, I have to do in blocks.

So if I can pull off a book in a month, I will resolve myself to write a book every summer holidays (December/January) and spend the rest of the year revising.

So I thought as I wrote this novel over November, I would go through my process of doing things. (Everyone is different, this is just how I do it)

Anyway. Back on topic. Brainstorming.

This, for me, is the process of coming up with ideas, and figuring out all the cool stuff you can do with that idea. The first time I ever wrote something, I didn't brainstorm - I got an idea, and sat down and wrote. It turned out nicely original, but I had to put it through five drafts to get it close to something readable.

That first/second draft was in essence my brainstorm. I would not recommend it if you have a lack of time.

These are the methods which I use for both getting an idea, and brainstorming it into something resembling a story. There will be others, but this is what have used so far.

• What if : Basically, you ask what if? What if the sun exploded? What if the world stopped turning? What if dogs could talk? What if someone discovered they had superhuman powers? What if my dad turned into an angel/demon/fairy?

After you have your "what if", the main ways to turn it into something memorable are to think about the implications of the "what if", and the reasons behind the "what if". Something also important is the "but". If the sun exploded, the world would be incinerated. But... But someone survives. How? Why did the sun explode? Was there someone that made it explode? What are the effects on the survivors? What if among the survivors were scientist and a priest. How would they all react? Would their reactions be in conflict with each other?

The moment you start putting characters into a "what if" situation, things get interesting, because characters will react to the "what if". How they react, and what they do next will drive your story forwards.

• Character Idea

Sometimes, a character will walk into your head with a specific voice, and annonce things about themselves. If that stuff is interesting enough, it's entirely possible a story will come out of it. Recently, for me it was: A boy is trapped in the library. He can't get out, and is forced to write other peoples stories down.

And then you start with the questions: Why? Who put him there? How does he react? Are his parents looking for him? What sort of person is he? Does he believe in something? Does he even want to leave? (Maybe he came from a abusive family?)

Another good example is Harry Potter. Apparently (and this is just from my remembering) J.K Rowling was sitting in a train at King Cross station when Harry Potter wandered into her head. Not the whole book - just one character. A boy wizard, without parents, who lived with terrible relatives. She built an entire world around the implications of a boy wizard (would he go to school? Where? Would wizards be hidden, or part of society ect.) and a story around the implications of him being an orphan (why is he an orphan?)

• Setting. Sometimes this comes first. It could be anywhere: past, present of future.

If you start with setting, the first thing you have to think about is who would live there, and how they are effected by their surrounds. The easiest way to get a story from this is to find a character that doesn't quite fit.

We're in China. We've got a young Chinese boy, everything about him is Chinese - culture, language, ect. What's different? His mother is/was Japanese. Japan and China have a huge century long feud going on between them. Depending on what time this is set, it would have implications for this character, and how others react to him. You put him in conflict (maybe he's proud of his heritage and argues against someone who says something ill about Japan?) and you have a story.

My intrinsic belief is that story comes from character. You can have as much plot as you want. Some people think up a plot first, and then think up a character to fit the plot. That is fine. But you cannot have a story without a motivated character in conflict with something. Even if it's his inner conscience. Even if it's with the door, and struggling to get it open. Even if a huge dragon's just landed on the lawn. Story comes from how the character reacts.

Whether plot comes first and you make a character to fit that, or character comes first and you put them in an interesting situation to see what happens is up to who you are personally as a writer.

If anyone needs anything clarified/wants to debate/ect. - post a comment. This is only my opinion/experience, and I am more than willing to be called out on it.

Cheers~

Sian

Beta's and Stories Not Dying

I love my Beta readers. I truly do. They spot things I would never spot, and if their tastes are different from mine, then they're a little harder on my prose, and it makes me work harder.

But sometimes....

I have a world. It was built rather organically, over the time of about six years, and five drafts. So was my story. There was no planning aspect to it to start off with. So it more than definitely has it's problems. But when I've fixed one, another shows up.

Tonight was one such night. Nobody understood the world that Kira lived in, so I had to show them it. Because it's first person, and I was adverse to changing the story, I did that mainly through her thinking. It worked for one Beta. Another said it sort of worked. The third basically said (paraphrasing here): why the heck are you info dumping and why am I forgetting who your character is.

.............

Wonderful.

I spent the end of what has been a wonderful day mightily depressed. Because I believe that I have a good story here. I believe it has a reason for being. I love my characters.

But what is the point of all that if someone can barely get past the first chapter because of confusion issues? And how to get over the confusion issues if I can not feed out the information (in small chunks, but still, not absolutely huge amounts). there is way too much info that HAS to be understood in order to get on with the plot as it. Believe me, when I started this, I had none of that info in there. It confused the hell out of those that read it.

But the thing is, the point of this story has never been the plot. The plot is better than it was at the start, and it may continue to get better. What I have realised is that a number of things have stayed continuous over all those drafts. They are the major turning points and inciting incident.

And as long as they, and the characters, stay the same, it's still the same story. It may be different in its execution, but it is forever the same. Because the message I want to get across is still the same. That message being: There is no right or wrong side. Everyone believes they are right. And so when my main character if thrown into this world, as long as she meets the same opposition, the story is intact.

How she gets through those points is up for debate. I like what I've got, but I could make it better. I may try to. In fact, I think I will. There are two chapters that will remain largely similar. The rest of the first six chapters are important for the introduction. But they can be done differently.

My character needs to meet the Manda, my world has to be introduced, and someone else has to die and deliver and object into her hands by the end of it. I can still do all that, with the same sort of tension, by writing the start differently.

The thing that amazes me is that there have been several of these moments thus far. These moments run along the lines of : "oh god, why don't I give up and go to the next one (project, book, whatever)."

Then I get over myself, my story pops back up and say: Hey, I'm still the same in essence.

I find it ironically amusing, myself.

Fixing Things

Beta's are wonderful people. They truely are. But sometimes, they say something and you feel like hitting your head against a wall.
Often, you feel that way because they're right. For example, Beta A had trouble believing that my characters would be as perceptive as they are. Point taken. They probably wouldn't. I can fix that.
With beta B, I think we may differ in writing styles. But that is good. It's still headbanging, but I look at what she points out, weigh it up, and go in again.
Beta C doesn't really like my main character (something I've tried to fix). But she likes my writing. So does Beta A.
However, being me, I won't be happy unless I get some type of perfection :D

So yes. This is basically a post saying I will do it. And how I will do it.

Beta A reads everything first. I will fix that plot thing by this weekend.

I'm hoping to have fixed the characters thing with changes to my first chapter, and some of the others. I've also removed characters.

I will fix chapter 1 by next Wednesday. What beta B suggested changing was largely editorial stuff - not that much to do with the plot. Which is good.

I will finish reading through Beta A and B's work by tomorrow, and send them off their chapters. On Thursday afternoon, I will do that plot fixing. On Friday after noon, I will plan my other story out more, and attempt to write something else. Maybe see if I can do a short story (surely I can at least finish one without turning it into the start of a book.)
Saturday - probably more plot fixing
Sunday - More of the same. If I'm finished by then, then I will go over my Beta's chapters.
Monday - fix that first chapter.

After that, it depends on the feedback I get. *sigh* will probably have to find one last person to look through this all. After I've looked through it.

The point of this post: I will do these things. I will fix things. Each time a beta comes up with a problem, an answer comes fairly naturally to me. Things have not fallen apart yet. I must breathe.

Off to read my beta's chapters. Wish me luck for the week ahead.

Mystery and Suspense

Someone (I can't remember who) once said that you don't need a bomb to go off on your first page. But you had to at least hint at it. The thing that starts my book off is at the end of my second chapter. But my world is complicated, and I needed readers to understand both what is normal for this world, and my characters mental state. So I started four pages before major inciting incident.
So I've had major hints towards an impending bomb. (This bomb thing is not literal, mind you. Just a metaphor). Overhead conversations, weird people showing up - all very good and fine.

There is just one problem. My MC. Given a chance, she will ignore what is going on around her. She doesn't want to know. Her mother has just died, she has a hard time relating to people normally, and she just wants the world to leave her alone.

After the end of the second chapter, she becomes less passive. She has a very definite reason to start paying attention - she is literally dragged into the plot.

I think I should be doing this earlier.

The whole idea was that the mystery of what the heck was going on would make readers interested. Fine. good. But that still leaves me with a passive main character for most of the first chapter. She has her reasons, but I need to make her care.

But if I make her care, than the mystery will be lost. My inciting event at the end of chapter two won't have the "slam" that it had before.
But then I realised that there is more than one way to keep a reader interested. Not only mystery, but suspense.

The difference between the two is simple: where is the reveal? In suspense, you know there's a bomb in the room, and you're watching to see how the characters deal with it. In mystery, there are hints that there's a bomb in the room, but you're watching to see if the characters figure out that there's a bomb even there. You, as a reader, don't even know that there's a bomb there. You just get hints or clues.

The only problem is that my MC is in the mood to plain out ignore any such hints or clues. So I have to show her there's a bomb there earlier, so she does something. Anything - even if that's just agreeing to go to a place she hates. At the moment, her grandfather makes that decision. She should make it.

And so the first chapter gets a makeover. Again.

Looking for Beta readers

Finding a beta. Not the easiest job in the world, I can tell you. Especially when you're looking for it to be done in under two weeks.
I set myself a deadline. Just because. I may not keep to it, but from next week I start part time work, SO I'll know when my hours are, and be able to organise around them. I should also be able to argue against getting a second job, because I don't really want one.
So, I need people to go over the whole manuscript, and note where it feels weird, when the charecters are wrong, ect. ect. That's what I need. Then I plan to go through the entire thing, chapter by cdhapter, and make it sparkle. One chapter a day, 23 days.
My brithday, circumstatiually, is on the 23rd of september. So, i figure I'll start with the nit picking on the 1st, and have a nice present to my self. :D
Then comes the querying and sending it out, and so on and so forth.

Then all you can do is hope.

The Manda Query

Well, I know it's not perfect, but here is the work in progress version:

When 17 year old Kira Hilter’s mother dies, she retreats from the world to grieve. This grieving process is broken when she first comes into contact with the Manda, beings that can take on many forms and have been used as weapons for decades. They talk to her, something that is supposed to be impossible, and catapult Kira’s life into uncertainty.

The Manda themselves aren’t all that impressed – they have a hate of humanity that reaches back thousands of years. But with this hatred comes secrets about the Manda’s past, secrets that lead to the death of Kira’s grandfather, and the total and utter destruction of any hold of reality that Kira still have left.
To find the man who killed her grandfather and take her revenge, Kira goes to the lucrative Manda tournaments, where the Manda are used as playthings in a game. Here, the Manda’s ancient secrets quite literally come to life, threatening to tear apart the delicate balance of the modern world.

Twenty year old Chae-ku Rowan is the person struggling to keep that delicate political balance afloat, for no other reason than that it is both good for business, and good for the future of his sister. But when ancient grudges that revolve around the Manda start to surface, his sister’s life is put in danger, and Rowan’s control over the world around him is gradually whittled away.

Kira seeks revenge, Rowan control. But with the world around them getting more and more convoluted by the minute, both will have to make a choice. Rowan, whether to trust Kira, and Kira whether to give up her revenge to help Rowan, even if it means walking directly into the clutches of the man who killed her grandfather.

Comments and advice greatly appreciated :D

Practicalities

Well, here we are. After a couple of hours of procrastination, I finally rewrote what I needed to, and have one last section to tackle. Admittedly, it’s a big one, but I should be done with it by tomorrow.
And then that's it. No more continuity errors, no more decisions that don't make sense. Kira's meeting with Marik is still slightly coincidental, but nowhere as near as coincidental as it was last time.
So I have a complete and utter manuscript, with only one small coincidence, and the rest of it relying on the decisions of the characters, even if at times we can't see them making the decisions.
Four drafts, each one written from scratch, and finally the thing makes sense.
And then we come to the practical side of things. I want to sell this. If I can't, so be it, but I want to try. If it doesn't work, then I'll just move on to the next book "Varrick" and if that doesn't work, onto "NKFH". Eventually something will work. Even if it's ten books into the future, something will work.
But a certain amount of coldness is needed if I'm ever going to get this thing published. There are certain actions that have to be taken.
1. I have to read the entire things through on the computer, from start to finish, and not any irregularities
2. I have to print the entire thing out double space, with no overlapping chapters. Then I have to put them in plastic pockets, pick a chapter at random, and edit my little heart out
3. I'm going to make the series four books, not five. It will mean getting rid of some subplots, but it'll be a hell of lot easier to sell: this is the first in a four book series.
4. Plan out the other four books
5. Write a synopsis and query letter.
6. Put the entire thing away/get others to look at it.
7. Write something else
8. Edit my little heart out all over again.
9. Send it out.
10. Hope and pray
Should be fun… yay. Sarcasm intended. :P

Varrick Plan

Well, I finished plans for one book. The Sci-fi one that I was talking about earlier. It's very brief, not much in the way of how things are going to go or how anyone is going to solve a problem, but it's better than what I started with. It has a start, a middle and an end. It's going to be rather long. I also have a faint and not very happy feeling that after I write it once, I will have to add a heap of detail and thoughts. Then I get to edit and cut things out.
Going to take a while, I think.
This is good though. It's nice to think about something else other than: The Manda, and Varrick had a nice way of coming into my head. No plot, but characters pretty much full formed.
I also realised something else. A lot is going to happen, but the overarching story won't have any hidden mechanisms behind it - no grand conspiracies or anything like that.
However, I have characters that all have substantial things to hide, which should provide more than enough in the way of plot variation.
Now, I just get to write the thing. And edit my way through The Manda. I split it into four sections today - I plan on editing the four sections, one a week, and then send it round to whoever will look at it, and ask them to comment on where they think it's weird.
Then, I might as well send it to someone who, if they're insane enough, will publish it. One can only hope.
I have been slightly more productive, but I keep twaddling off to uselessly browse the internet or sleep, or do something else. I like the fact that I have two things going on at the moment. If I line edit for more than an hour, I start screaming. Being able to switch to the more creative side of things will be nice.
Tomorrow, before I go out, I will write. Some would argue that I should be studying Chinese, but I get a fair amount of study out of it simply by living here. And Chinese is not my favourite language in the world. It's just a language of necessity.
So, I plan to do something productive with my remaining two and a half weeks. Must concentrate...

Line Editing

There are some things in life, that when you start out doing them, you think: Oh yeah, this will be fine. Then, after you've done it for a while, you realise it will be the bane of your existence.
Line editing is one of those things.
First, to differentiate. Editing, or more commonly know by most as either revision or rewriting, is when you look at your manuscript, go : that's crap, that's crap, that's crap, delete it all, and get to make up new stuff to go in its place. This is fun. Because you get to create stuff to go in its place. I love creating stuff, be in characters, plots or small and big events.
I know some people who despair at this destruction of a manuscript. I am not one of them. I rewrote (as in deleted the entire file and started again) this "thing" ( my MS) four times. I have one last thing to correct before it works itself out plot and character-wise in this draft but still, that's a lot of words.
I also wrote the next three books in the series, then came to terms with the fact that they were unusable simply because they relied on a quirk of character that would never actually happen. It just wasn't realistic.
I think those three files exist on my family's computer somewhere. My mum also has the first draft of the "thing" printed out and hidden away.
I will never use any of that again. The only thing similar between the first draft and the last one of this particular book is several characters (although some have changed so much it's uncanny) and the Manda.
Everything else was crap, so I chucked it.
After all the tearing and shredding and starting over, I think I have a workable story. Whether anyone will buy it is another question, but I think it's good. I could live with it.
So after you correct the characters (motivation matches up with personality, actions match up with motivation and personality and so on) and plot holes (wtf did she do that? There is no reason for that to happen other than I want it to) you come to the writing.
And here is where it all comes undone for me.
I read a lot of books in my childhood, and teenage years. I'm pretty sure it was part of my family's makeup that I would receive a 300 page book for my birthday, then have it finished before we went out to a restaurant for tea. I remember one particular incident where a classmate said she would give me ten dollars if I could read any book in one night. We agreed, and she handed me something twice the size of the last harry potter book. I finished it. The little brat never gave me any money because we hadn't "shook" on it.
The point of this spiel was I picked up certain major things when reading, but not others. I read every word, but they stayed in my brain was the information from them was processed in .5 seconds. As such I read really fast, and knew a lot about characters and plot by the time I sat down and wrote my first book at 12.
But. I didn't even realise that the writing had to be good. Never, ever, ever did I come to that realisation. Never, during my childhood did I stop at a sentence in one of the thousands of books I read and go - well, isn't this nice.
I wrote two books before I realised language actually mattered. In the charming way that 12 year olds have of thinking they are the world, I was all set to publish the second book. Then I read John Marsden’s "everything I know about writing" and realised - wait a moment, the words have to be pretty.
Not pretty in the "look at me" kind of way either. Pretty in the "I'm only here to tell you what goes on, deliver theme, atmosphere, character voice, author voice, and a thousand of other things in as little amount of words as possible” kind of way.
To make writing do that, you have to line edit. Which means going over every single word and asking "why the hell are you here?"
I don't hate it for any emotional reason. I know some people who have the same reaction to line editing that they do to "big" editing - they feel as if they are ripping out their souls.
For me, it just takes a bloody long time.
You sit there, for four or five hours, yes, hours, with three pages of text. For me, because I never realise anything about language when I'm reading normally, I have to approach it analytically. Which means :
Rewrite any passive sentence into an active sentence. Compare the two. Challenge every single word in each. Sometimes go through all that just to let the original one pass ( I hate rules that aren't context specific. Every change I make is context specific, so why shouldn't the so called: rules of writing, be?)
Challenge every adverb. Could you use another verb? Sometimes, no, you couldn't no matter how much people will say you can't use adverbs without being weak.
Next come the adjectives. According to some, adjectives are just props for nouns. If you are using adjectives, you're not being specific with the nouns. Can someone please describe a grass tree to an American without using adjectives? Good luck. Sometimes, however, you should be choosing different nouns.
Then we get on to the poetic writing. Does it make sense. Does if give theme and atmosphere. If not, why is it there?
Why doesn't this sentence have any theme and atmosphere? Can I put some in? If so, then I have to go over every word in the new sentences, making each one justify why it's there.
In the end, you end up rewriting three pages so many times its unbelievable. You have to learn to trust instinct. If you follow rigid rules (stunk and white anyone) then you end up murdering any type of originality. But you don't want your originality to make people groan either.
It just takes so long. You spend at least five minutes over every word, more when things don't seem to be working. I hate it.
But hate it or not, it has to be done. Because if I don't put the effort into making it readable, no one will want to read it.
(By the way, all hail Maria, who is kind enough to tell me when my style is crap, when I should get rid of my abundant comma’s, and who corrects my grammar. Many thanks to her, otherwise this would be a longer post bitching about grammar correction as well)

That's her with her stylistic and attacking Sian's crap writing knife too, by the way :P

Rip, slash, arghhhh ( was in a piraty mood)

Sometimes, life is just life. Sometimes its good. Other times its great.
This is one of those times. I have a story. I story I knew I had problems with. But I've gone over it so many times that even though I know something wrong, but I have no idea how to fix it.
Then comes along someone who tells me the stories crap in certain areas, and I feel shit. Then I feel excellent.
Because bigger editing is so much more funner than line editing. Line editing is where you go - do I really need all those adjectives, abverbs and commas? Bigger editing is where you deleat entire pages. Sometimes it doesn't work.
This time, it has. I feel like an axe murderer, standing over his prey - never let it be said that someone telling you your work is crap is a bad thing.
First, I cut two pages of the first chapter, and merged it with the second. Then I get to decide whether to do away with two chapters entirely, and what to replace them with. There has to be something there, otherwise it doesn't work.
The basic thing I have to do with these chapters is introduce the Manda, and impliccate them in what is going to happen next.
Implication. whuwhuwhu. I feel evil already. No idea what I'm actually going to do, but the Manda tournaments dissappear after the first book. I don't need to go into so much detail.
And it's a really sucky introduction of Rowan. There's no logical reason why he would even be there. I just need to make something happen, and then get her back to her house, so all hell can break loose.
watch out manuscript, I've got a rather large knife.